It occurred to me that I could make a recording to listen to before the event. I made a recording reminding myself that no matter “how it went” this person is loved unconditionally and that her goodness is already established…and only conditioning would judge how it went anyway! The Mentor reminded me that she was just so proud of me for trying this new thing and not letting the voices stop me, and that in just having the courage to go up against the voices, it was already a wild success.I listened to that recording many times as the event drew near.
Then It dropped in that there was a break at the event and if I were not really paying attention, the voices would likely be in my ear trying to terrify and judge me during that break. So I made a recording to listen to on the break with more of the same kinds of encouragements: “You’re doing a great job, - let’s just enjoy being here, sharing from the heart with these folks, trust Life, breathe deeply, smile, relax, have fun!”
Then it dropped in that I’d also be very vulnerable to the voices after the workshop ended — that self-hate would love to swoop in then with a review of all that I had “done wrong” or should have done differently. So, yep, I made a recording for afterwards!That recording reminded me to celebrate, to dance, to give myself a hug, smile and cheer, and just appreciate the person who did her best. “No reviews, good job, just so proud of you. Let’s keep the attention here, in this moment and enjoy the next thing in front of us!”
This technique was a complete game changer!!
In the past when engaging in public speaking and the like, I could often “get through it,” but the experience was one of suffering, leaving me feeling very drained by the end. It was a mess of stress, fear and worry beforehand, lots of reviewing during the event if there was any space for that, and of course lots of self hate and reviews afterwards.
Make a before, during, and after set of recordings for an event conditioning says will be scary or hard. Appreciate the courageous human, celebrate that person like crazy, and allow no reviews!